Something is wrong. My heart is beating like crazy. And I don't mean I think something is physically wrong. More like this is the first time I've had this kind of panic attack sort of feeling since I was with Rob. And it's kind of freaking me out.
We had a few drinks tonight so maybe things are coming out that normally wouldn't bother me. Maybe I'm just being uber sensitive. But... I don't know. He's not very affectionate. He doesn't kiss me. I feel like it wouldn't matter if I was here or not. I mean, he says it would matter, he says he wants me here but there isn't any physical proof.
Anyway, I just made some gesture that made him question what I'm writing. I'll think about this a little more tomorrow. I'm sure it's nothing. I hope it's nothing. It better be nothing. I kinda want to throw up.
