Fat/thin, stoned/sober, rich/poor, here/there - it doesn't really make a difference. There are going to be ups and downs, there's going to be drama. Get used to it.
She's still sending him stuff. I don't know how I feel about that. I mean, I hate it but it's not a deal breaker by any means. But still... would you put up with that? Should I? I know for a fact he wouldn't. So, I say something and then what? He just gets better at hiding it? And then I have to spend all my time looking for it? That's not how I want to live.
Our biggest hurdle right now are these petty jealousies. We both have them. He got all up in arms yesterday because my friend Patrick wrote "I LOVE YOU" on a Tumblr post of mine. I sit on the webcam with him and hear his phone buzz with another call, another text, another DM. From who? I don't care. I hate it. And it makes me want to compete. That's not how I want to live.
Will it be different when we are in the same city? In the same home? Will we even be able to get that far? Not if this gets between us. So I make a smartass remark and say I hope Alissa sends him all kinds of stuff and makes everything better. I wasn't overly bothered by it at that moment, to be quite honest. But it's weighing on me now. It's getting bigger and I need to figure something out before it snowballs out of control. I'll just let it play out right now and see what comes of it. It's a concern, though, and I'm worried. That's not how I want to live.
