Yeah, I will!!!

Hotel Services Supervisor????

Yes, please!

(Just call me, already!)

This always makes me laugh

Every time I log in here and read the last post of angst and frustration... then I look at the date and realize that everything has been wonderful since then. And every time we have these fights/arguments/squabbles/tiffs we come back stronger than ever.

Is this what a relationship is supposed to be like?

Weird.

Why

That's nice that I wrote all those lovely things yesterday. Today? Yeah, not so much. Today I'm ready to pack it all in, tell him to go fuck himself and die and walk. I already told him to go fuck himself. The rest? I can barely restrain myself.

Five hours. That's how long I've been pissed off. Five fucking hours. Man, if I had somewhere to go I would so be out of here tonight. I'm not even kidding you. I don't even want to calm down. I want out and I want out now, you fucking asshole mother fucker from fucking hell I hate your fucking guts and I'm a fucking idiot.

Remembery

Today I figured something out. Again.

I love to give. In a relationship I am happily tidying up behind him, closing cupboards and drawers, sucking on his penis and giving kisses on the cheek.

Until.

If I feel like I'm not getting what I need, it stops. It used to be dead stop and, while I don't think I'm quite that bad anymore, it still freezes and stalls. I start to resent the things I give because I begin to feel taken for granted/taken advantage of. And I don't want to give anymore.

I always felt justified in that because I honestly believe that you teach people how to treat you. But am I teaching him how to treat me or am I teaching him that, unless I'm getting what I want, what he wants doesn't matter.

Hmmm.