"This may come as a shock to you but I’m a bit of a damned idiot. I have completely screwed myself career wise and I don’t know how to find my way back.
Back in the day I really loved to work; I always held daytime and evening jobs. Six days and four nights a week was my standard. And I always wanted more. More, more, more. More money, sure, but more knowledge, more experience, more something to do with myself because, when I wasn’t working, I was lost.
I worked in retail, banking, venture capital, commercial property administration. Then onto self-employment, bookkeeping, property management, real estate, business management. I considered all of my experience to be building blocks toward something, I just didn’t know what.
Through it all, I was exceptionally unhappy in my personal life. Well, more than my personal life, I was unhappy in my head. So, in the spring of 2008, just on the other side of the peak of my professional success, I left a pretty lucrative 6-figure salary and went on a mission. I honestly didn’t know what I was looking for but I promised myself I would find it. And here I am three years later, exceptionally happy with who I am but my career is totally fucked.
About a year into this venture, after a ton of research and evaluation of my favourite aspects of all of my former positions, I took the first step in what I excitedly hoped would be a life-long career. It was a whole new industry for me but I was perfectly comfortable going back to square one, I was even okay with the fact that the job paid less than a third of what I was making before, because I was working toward something that was perfect for me in the long term.
Then my dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer. My family was on the opposite end of the country and I knew I couldn’t live this far away from them anymore. I packed my things and moved halfway across the country. But it didn’t take long for me to figure out that halfway wasn’t enough. I left everything I owned in my sister’s attic and, with my computer and the clothes on my back, moved home with my parents to be there for the remainder of my father’s life and for the first year of my mother’s life without him.
My friends hooked me up with a temporary job, which was a world away from anything I’d done previously but still could be a great asset when I was able to get back on my dream career track. And it didn’t last very long. Although I did look for permanent work, I didn’t make a whole lot of effort. For one thing, my mother wanted me around and was willing to support me financially to have my companionship. Also, I didn’t want to live there indefinitely and was afraid to settle in, thinking I might not be able to get back out.
Now I’m here. I got out just as I wanted and I’m more than eager to start working again. And, let me tell you, I want to work. I NEED to work. Financially I am far beyond the need to work, personally I looking forward to having structure in my life again. I’m ready to settle now, I want to start living.
But I am going to have one hell of a time finding someone to hire me. On paper, since April of 2008, I have gone from the manager of a multi-million dollar national company to an administrative technician to a glorified waitress with about 28 months of unemployment in the past 41 months. Within that time I have also lived in four cities spanning the whole country.
Employers aren’t going to care that I needed to go find myself, it won’t matter to them that I needed to spend time with my family. I stepped out of my life for three and a half years and I’m going to have a hell of a time finding my way back in. And I’m kinda freaking out.
It will work out, I know it will. I don’t doubt it for a second. But that’s not helping me much today."
More than anything, I wrote it to get the frustration out so I could move past it. Rejection and uncertainty can be pretty disheartening but, as I've learned, things always have a way of coming together. And it's my new little habit to let it out so I don't dwell on it. Come to think of it, that's also probably why I no longer eat my feelings... because I set my feelings free before I stuff food on top of them.
Anyway, after I wrote that post I thought, you know, I'm just going to have to see if I can get a serving job until I find something full time. I remembered seeing an add but didn't know what site so I went directly to the restaurant site and they are recruiting for a manager. So I applied.
Forty-five minutes later I got a call for an interview. 45 minutes! The interview is scheduled for Monday. Cross your fingers, future me! We're getting ready to move forward again!
