I'm starting to feel like a rat in a cage. I go forward as far as I can, then I start banging into walls. Bang, bang, not this way, not that way, bang, bang. Until I find an opening, a path. And I forge ahead with all my might. Then I start banging into walls again. I keep trying until I find a new way to go but it's getting so frustrating and tedious. What will I do then? Lie down and die? Or keep trying? When do I get to the fucking cheese already? Does it even exist?
I don't know if there's any cheese.
I am once again living a life of spite. I want to smoke, I want to drink. I want to do things I'm not supposed to do, eat too much, swear, fight. You know why, don't you? I just figured it out as I was writing that. I feel repressed. I feel as if I can't be the person I want to be and do the things I want to do. I am not my own self anymore and it is killing me.
BUT WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT IT???????????
