Today I figured something out. Again.
I love to give. In a relationship I am happily tidying up behind him, closing cupboards and drawers, sucking on his penis and giving kisses on the cheek.
Until.
If I feel like I'm not getting what I need, it stops. It used to be dead stop and, while I don't think I'm quite that bad anymore, it still freezes and stalls. I start to resent the things I give because I begin to feel taken for granted/taken advantage of. And I don't want to give anymore.
I always felt justified in that because I honestly believe that you teach people how to treat you. But am I teaching him how to treat me or am I teaching him that, unless I'm getting what I want, what he wants doesn't matter.
Hmmm.
