Truthful Tuesday - WFT
- I’ve been mentally composing an “it’s the end of the month and I need cash bad” email to my mother for days now. Just going over and over it in my head. I can’t describe to you how much asking for help bothers me… asking for financial help turns my guts into knots and brings tears to my eyes. But I have no choice. I just hope this is the last time I’ll have to do this.
- Over the past week or so I’ve realized that touch is the most important aspect for me in a romantic relationship. Not necessarily sex -although I’m always game- but touching in even the slightest way. I have silently yearned for it my whole life. Again, simply asking for it is beyond difficult and my unfortunate tendency is to overcompensate and pull away.
- Speaking of touching, I still feel this electric-like current when I’m near him. Even doing something as simple as putting my hand on his arm while he’s sleeping fills me with the oddest calming-excitement I’ve ever experienced. The flip side of that is the sense of loss I feel when he pulls away.
- Sometimes I think I’m the best girlfriend ever; other times I can’t figure out how he puts up with me.
- But it’s his own damn fault for making me fall in love with him.
- Getting that job yesterday was quite a relief. Even though it’s part time and I don’t expect to stay there long, it broke the seal. It’s a start and it renewed my faith that good things are coming.
- I’ve been exceptionally sensitive and teary the past few days. The pharmacy here gave me a different brand of birth control than the one I’ve been using for more than a decade. I wonder if that has something to do with it.
- Fucking hormones are bullshit.
- My friend found us a good quality mattress pad and is bringing it over tomorrow night. I hope it helps because the mattress we are using is absolutely killing me. From chest to butt, I am in so much pain when I wake up I can barely roll over.
- I think I’ve said everything I wanted to say so this is just for a nice round 10 bullet point balance. Thanks for playing.
